Summer is the sweetest time for self-care. If we really listen to ourselves, we know intuitively that summer is the best time to slow down. So let's create the best self-care summer ever for ourselves.
The summer invites us all to do everything at a slower pace. It's ok to relax and be lazy sometimes.
It's a time to get away…it’s vacation time.
And…it’s the summer solstice on June 21st...the longest day of the year. We have more light to be outside, play, and watch the setting sun while it's warm.
When we take this time to take care of ourselves by letting our brains rest, our bodies relax, we create balance and we become more creative. When we slow everything down, then we can see what needs to be changed in our lives.
Last summer I took a personal self-care retreat. It was transformative.
Before leaving, I was exhausted and burned...
Imagine this scenario: you're overwhelmed, the to-do list is a mile high and you wish someone would come to you and say “how can I help”?
But you don't really say anything. You just keep it to yourself, sometimes seething, sometimes saying it doesn’t really matter, or it’s easier and quicker to do it yourself. And you stuff your feelings. Or blow up and say things you don’t really mean.
You might hear yourself say sarcastically, "it would be nice if the people around me (spouse, kids, coworkers) would just pitch in and help."
Can you relate?
Do you even know what kind of help you need?
There are tons of people, especially women, who aren’t asking for what they want or need.
Let’s see if you can relate.
Writing morning pages is a simple practice that can be an added benefit to not only your morning routine but your day as well.
Julia Cameron, author, and artist, wrote a book called The Artist Way back in 1992. In it, she encourages the reader to write morning pages... three pages of free-flowing thought by longhand.
You are probably thinking, isn’t that journaling? Yes, yes, it is. However, morning pages are done first thing in the morning, and without any premeditation as to what will be written. Mrs. Cameron suggests that we write 3 pages without stopping.
I wrote morning pages without fail for two years straight. And it was a beautiful, insightful ritual that allowed me to start my day and delve deeper into my thoughts and desires as I navigated a huge transition period in my life.
The benefits of this practice are vast. The process will allow you to clear the revolving ideas from your mind, open up to new ways of...
I was living in Okinawa, Japan working on a Marine Corps base as a psychotherapist. Our work was demanding and stressful.
Right away, I realized that if I was going to make it, I'd have to do something different than getting worked up over the frustrating and unnecessary hoops we had to deal with.
So every morning as I got in my car and drove away from my home, I started thinking of the things that WERE going right. I started a list of 10 things in my head I was grateful for.
It became a ritual. I'd drive by the ocean on the way to work (which was enough to be grateful in itself) and say 10 things I was grateful for. By the time I drove through the security gate at the base, I was grounded and ready to go to work to help the Marines I was there to help.
Later I started writing those 10 things in my journal every day, and since then I've discovered many things about keeping a gratitude journal since...
It might surprise you to hear that one of the best ways to cultivate a hopeful, optimistic outlook is to practice some radical self-compassion.
Frequently people confuse self-compassion with self-indulgence or even selfishness. But being kind to yourself is just as important as being kind to others, if not more so.
Being kind to yourself means you can stop that vicious cycle of self-blame and recrimination. It prevents you from ruminating on past mistakes and builds your resilience and confidence so you can pick yourself up and get back on track.
When you are kind and encouraging to yourself, your anxiety levels drop, your mood lifts, and you become more optimistic and hopeful about the future.
Perhaps the best way to start your self-compassion practice is to adopt a more mindful attitude to life. Mindfulness focuses on the acceptance of who you are, and where you...
I was raised by a very strong mother and an even stronger grandmother. They did everything. My mother ran a business with my father, took care of him after he had a nervous breakdown, paid the bills, and parented the kids pretty much on her own.
I don’t remember seeing her take a break except when she worked in our backyard, growing flowers or planting cuttings from someone else’s garden. She was ALWAYS busy.
Her mother, my grandmother, was equally busy but she had a different style.
As a farmer's wife, "MaMa,"(as we lovingly called her) milked the cow, churned butter, washed clothes for our family, prepared special meals for my grandfather, and always baked a cake on the weekend for Sunday "dinner" as well as cooking a huge spread for the whole family.
In addition to each full day, she would drive over to her sister-in-law's house. Aunt Angie was bedridden with rheumatoid arthritis and MaMa would drive to her house to take her a meal, cut her...
When it comes to working on self-care, all of us have different aspects of ourselves that we aren’t fully aware of. It could be personality traits, feelings, or actions.
These blind spots can really hamper our self-care efforts. This is why it's so important to become fully aware of them. Let's look at some of the most common blind spots you may discover with making sure your self-care is in place.
A lot of people hate conflict, but sometimes it's needed to resolve situations. If you tend to avoid conflict, it means you’ll often do or say things you don’t necessarily agree with. This is a common blind spot that can really derail your self-care efforts.
The trouble is, when you give in to others just to avoid conflict, it reduces your credibility. You’ll also find you are frequently miserable due to not standing firm in your own beliefs and values. So, if your blind spot is avoiding conflict, it’s important to address...
If you’re struggling to make healthier changes in your life, it could be that you’re not convinced a change is needed. Many of us are also great at avoiding change. It tends to be something we dread, rather than look forward to.
However, if you want to live your best life, it’s imperative you recognize when a change is needed. So, how exactly can you recognize that change is needed in your life? Below, you’ll discover some of the common signs to look out for.
Do you feel like you’re stuck in a rut and you’ve lost your purpose? This is a sure sign that a change is needed. Everyone has a purpose, but it isn’t always easy to identify it. Also, your purpose can change as you get older and go through life’s experiences. So, if you feel like your life isn’t your own anymore, it’s time to make a change.
Another sign change is needed is if you find your mood...
One of the most difficult challenges many people face with self-care is finding the time to fit it in. When you live a busy lifestyle, it can seem almost impossible to find extra time to look after yourself.
So, how can you balance practicing self-care with a busy lifestyle? Here, you’ll discover some great tips you can follow.
A good tip you can follow to ensure you can fit self-care into your busy routine is to schedule it in. Think about it, you schedule in everything else, so why not self-care? When you set a time to focus on yourself, you are much more likely to stick to it. No matter how busy you think you are, there will always be time for self-care somewhere in your schedule.
If you are struggling to find the best time of day to practice self-care, you might find it easier in the morning. If you’re a busy parent, you might disagree here but think about it. In the morning, you could get up just 30 minutes earlier, or 15...
Even when you know how important self-care is to your wellbeing, it isn’t always easy to incorporate it into your daily routine. In fact, did you know many people fail when it comes to taking care of themselves?
Let’s look at why people generally fail when it comes to self-care and the main things holding them back.
Self-care is often perceived as selfish
One of the main reasons people fail to take care of themselves is because they feel it’s selfish. It could be that you feel guilty when you take time to focus on yourself. Or you may worry what other people think or that you are a terrible parent for not focusing solely on your children’s needs.
It is a total myth that self-care is selfish. In fact, it can help you to be a better parent, friend, spouse, and relative. The more you take care of yourself, the easier you’ll find it to take care of others. You’ll also show your children the importance of self-care. Teaching them to take care of their...
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