Things I wish my grandmother had told me

Four years ago today, my first grandson, Andy, was born.

Since then, I have a 2nd grandson, Rob, along with 3 granddaughters. I love them dearly and as their grandmother, there are things I want them to know. I especially feel compelled to make sure the boys are guided to respect and honor women. And I want them to know themselves and how to express their feelings. 

The following letter was written just after Andy's birth.

I sent the same one to Rob, my 2-year-old grandson when he was born. My hope is that I will be able to role model this wisdom for them but also verbalize it to them. Luckily, they have parents who will teach them these same ideals. 

Here's the letter I sent:

Hello Anderson.

I haven't met you yet but you are my first grandson.  You are the 4th one to arrive and you are met with a sister and 4 girl cousins.  I can only imagine how you will be when you play with them.  As your Gran, I am thrilled because I think that you will learn a lot about girls and the way that we women think. 

I wrote to your sister, Avery, and your cousins, Ella and Kate, with my best tips on how to live a good life.  And now I’m going to do this for you, as a male.  I raised two sons, your dad, and your uncle. I learned a lot about boys during that time and they taught me a lot about myself.

Here are my tips for living your best life: 

  1. Always trust yourself.
  2. Learn about what you like, who you are, what your passions are. That way you’ll always be able to trust yourself.
  3. Make mistakes. That’s your best way to learn.
  4. Listen to your parents. They are wise and they will always, always have your best interests at heart.
  5. Try everything once. When an opportunity comes your way, just say yes.
  6. Find the things that you love in life. Your passions are there for a reason. They are your guide. The more you love something or you’re passionate about it, the more you’ll love life.
  7. Respect everyone. Especially your elders. Even if you disagree with them, show them that you can listen to their point of view.
  8. Don’t be afraid to say no when you need to. When something doesn’t feel right.
  9. Listen to your instincts. They can guide you. This is whether you feel in danger or whether it’s just not resonating with you.
  10. Respect women. No matter what. You will probably be puzzled at the way they think or by their emotions. Be in wonderment about them.
  11. Don’t be afraid to feel a range of emotions. In our world, men are taught not to show too many sad feelings because that might feel weak. But this is not true. The sign of true strength is when you can feel the emotions and then let them go.
  12. Stand up for what you think is right.
  13. Always give back, especially to people who need your help. Help them to have a better life.
  14. Be generous. With your time, your money, and your heart.
  15. Get a good education. Pick a career that you love, not based on how much money you will make. If you’re happy in your work, that joy will spill over to everyone and you can make a difference in the world.
  16. Don’t try to keep everything you own. Especially things you don’t use.
  17. Learn how to let go. Let go of things that don’t serve you...of pettiness, of angry feelings, or when it feels like someone has hurt you.  
  18. Love your family. They will be there when no one else will be.
  19. Be grateful everyday for what you have. Even if you think you don’t have much, you do.


This is Rob, my younger grandson.  He's 2 1/2 and he has 2 older sisters. I am pleased to report that he, like Andy, loves to dress up, have his nails painted, looks up to his sisters, and is quite happy with the feminine side of himself. 

What is it that you most want your grandchildren, your children, the people around you to know about what you know about life? 

Start today and write about your own guidelines for having a great life.

Post below or send me a private message about what you'd love for everyone to know. And you can always post on my Facebook page:



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