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How to tell your friend what you need...the art of teaching people how to help you

Telling someone who loves you and who is trying to help you but isn't really helping what you actually need...well, it's downright hard. 

Having the confidence to say what you need to your friends or family is perhaps one of the most challenging things that we do. 

Because we don’t want to drive them away. We know they have our best interests at heart but...

When you feel funky or overwhelmed and you think you're going to burst into tears, this is when we all need someone who cares to step in...but in the right way.

When you spiral into negative thought patterns

It’s the times when you can’t help yourself.   The negative thoughts take over and bring you down, down to the deep dark hole. 

You say negative things like: 

What's wrong with me?

I hate my life

Why is this happening to me?

I should have...

I can't...

Everybody else does this, why can't I?

STOP

Now we're in the hole and we don't know how to get out...

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When your sisters are your best friends and your best friends are your sisters

relationships Jul 29, 2021

“The greatest gift our parents ever gave us was each other”  

It’s National Sister Day this week and if you have a sister or someone like a sister, it’s a great time to think about your relationship with her and what it means. 

I can’t imagine going through life without my two amazing sisters.

But it wasn’t always that way.

A tale of three sisters

I remember when my younger sister arrived on the scene.

I didn’t much like her at first. I was 2 ½ and immediately threatened by the fact that I wasn’t the little darling of the family anymore.

Maie, my sister, bit me once.

She was 2. There was a conflict over something like wanting the same toy and Maie used the only tactic she had…biting.

My mother told me to bite her back. (Parents had little training back then in how to parent…it was called I'm the boss and you do whatever I say).

I remember thinking, “but I don’t want to hurt her”...

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8 Reasons Why You Need To Journal Now In This Pandemic

“Who writes journals? Women who live deeply and reflectively, who regard lives as modern mythic quests and spiritual journeys, women who want to find their own voices and write their own lives.”

Marlene Schiwy, A Voice of Her Own

Journaling isn't like keeping a diary

Many people think that a journal is a diary. This is what I thought many years ago.

But a journal is so much more than keeping track of your daily events.

A journal is a conversation with yourself… your true self.  

Journaling is a time to focus on what you love, what you hate, what you fear, what you long for.

It’s a way of knowing yourself on a deep level.

An answer to feeling unstructured and directionless

With everything that’s happening in this unpredictable and scary world, now is the best time to keep a journal to help you deal with your emotions and thoughts.

For many, you are on a sort of ‘pause’ with many activities cancelled or on hiatus during the...

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Things I wish my grandmother had told me

Four years ago today, my first grandson, Andy, was born.

Since then, I have a 2nd grandson, Rob, along with 3 granddaughters. I love them dearly and as their grandmother, there are things I want them to know. I especially feel compelled to make sure the boys are guided to respect and honor women. And I want them to know themselves and how to express their feelings. 

The following letter was written just after Andy's birth.

I sent the same one to Rob, my 2-year-old grandson when he was born. My hope is that I will be able to role model this wisdom for them but also verbalize it to them. Luckily, they have parents who will teach them these same ideals. 

Here's the letter I sent:

Hello Anderson.

I haven't met you yet but you are my first grandson.  You are the 4th one to arrive and you are met with a sister and 4 girl cousins.  I can only imagine how you will be when you play with them.  As your Gran, I am thrilled because I think that you will learn a lot...

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Miss Virginia and Miss Sara   

In the small Southern town where I grew up in the 50's, it was customary for women to put on a “tea.” These teas were to honor one of the young women in the town who was soon to be married. 

A group of three women who were best friends entertained together:  Miss Virginia, Miss Sara, and Allene, my mother. 

They would plan in advance…sometimes on the phone, occasionally in person. The parties were elaborate. 

My mother and her friends were not sophisticated or wealthy.

But they knew how to put on a “tea”. The silver platters were polished and ready beforehand, along with the silver coffee pots, sterling silverware, bone china, and freshly starched linen napkins. Fresh flowers from their own yards and tasty morsels were always featured.  

My younger sister and I were designated servers. I’m guessing I was 9 when I became a part of the tea party scene. What I remember is that we had detailed instructions as we learned...

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Making 2019 Your Best Year

These are my 5 grandchildren. Three of them live far away on an island in the Pacific. Our families met up together in March last year in Fiji so I had the pure joy of hanging out with them. It was wild at times because they were all under the age of 4. And I was smiling the entire time. Even now I smile, thinking about that trip. 

Lucky, lucky me. Had I not planned or anticipated this trip, it would not have happened. But I found a way because it was super important to me to be around these 5 cuties.

What I want to ask you is, what fun things do you have planned for yourself this year? What are you planning that will bring you joy? 

Take the leap and decide you're going to choose this to be a great year. Your best year. 

For me, I’m planning on lots of travel and keeping things simpler, spending more time enjoying the people I love.

And being less frenetic than last year.

I was so hyper focused on getting my Ageless Wisdom and Passion online retreat...

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Women's Special Fall Online Weekend Retreat

Friday 25 September - Sunday 27 September

Fall is a time for us to slow down, to ground ourselves and to nourish our bodies. This retreat is designed to help you stop and listen to what it is you need right now. It's a fun and restorative weekend with mindfulness exercises, morning yoga, an online cooking class with the fabulous Chef Bai, healthy recipes to try at home, meditations and group calls to connect you with other women.