Are you languishing? You're not the only one

Today I had this imaginary conversation with a friend or (maybe it was myself.) It went like this: 

Hey Amelia,

Did you know that that blah mood you're in is normal?

And that you're not the only one?

Did you know that you've been feeling tired because your brain is tired?

Yes ma’am it is.

It's worn out from trying to cope with covid, with fires out of control, smoke, political upheaval, along with all the day-to-day stressors you have and it's been going on now for over a year.  

You didn't notice anything at first because you were too busy adjusting, putting on your mask, avoiding crowds, staying inside.

You didn't realize that your brain was on overdrive trying to keep you and your family alive.

The mental and emotional impacts of COVID

Yep. It was over a year without going anywhere except maybe to the grocery store. And you woke up most days thinking...it's another day of the same. The same. The boring old same freakin' thing.

You didn't know how long it would last either.  

It's been a mystery, a big unknown of how long this pandemic would last. How long it would it be before you could go somewhere or go shopping standing at a distance from everyone?

You didn't know how many more zoom calls you'd have to endure.

Actually, you were grateful for the zoom calls because it kept you a little bit in touch with people but then you got sick of sitting in front of a computer.

You got fat. You put on the extra pounds cause you drank and you ate mindlessly to ease the monotony, the insaneness of doing the same thing over and over. And to cover up the unease and worry. 

Running in the background the whole time was the worry about covid and the what-ifs.

What if you or your family got covid? 

But then the vaccine came and you thought, at last, we're free.

We'll be back to normal. 

But then, you didn't realize there would be mask wars and people refusing to get the vaccine. 

So on a deep level, you knew...

Normal isn't normal anymore. 

And what’s next?

You hear a friend say she's anxious and she doesn't know why. And you silently realize you feel the same. Only you just feel meh. 

All of it...it's too much for the brain to handle.

Sure, we looked like we were handling it but were we really?

Did we?

Can we?

What's next?

There's the constant barrage of gridlock with politics and now massive heatwaves, wildfires, the floods, the smoke, and now the hospitals full of people with the Delta variant, bombings in a country where women have little or no rights, a world where no one knows what will happen next. 

It's too much. 

And then we question why we feel blah. Unmotivated. Just meh. 

Some days are up, some days are down. 

We have to be kind to ourselves

This is the time to take a deep breath and say to yourself, I not only can do this but I actually am doing it. 

You look around and realize all the things you do have and you feel gratitude.  That your house hasn't burned down, that your daughter or granddaughter isn't in danger of being ripped out of her home and married off, or that you don't have covid. 

This is what is called languishing. It's not depression. It's surviving and we're all doing the best we can. 

We're all doing some kind of languishing...for some, it's harder than for others.

Things you can do when you are languishing

Over to you:

Here are 3 things you can do right now if you're finding yourself in languishing mode:

  1. Be in gratitude for everything in your life that is good.
  2. Focus on the fact that you have the strength and courage to make it through and that you can find joy in the little things. 
  3. Help someone else if you can. Call them, text, email...check on how they're doing. 
  4. Make a donation to a group that's working with people who have greater challenges and fewer resources.  There are thousands of Afghan refugees who need our help. 
  5. Check yourself. If you're struggling to function or if someone close to you is telling you that you need extra help, then reach out to a therapist. Suffering isn't necessary and there are professionals who can help. We don't have to do hard things alone. 

 

Having confidence is big now. Trusting yourself is key and knowing yourself on a deep level will help you get through anything you have to. 

This is not the time to second guess yourself or wonder about the decisions you make.

Now is the time to let go of any self-doubt. 

Go here to take my FREE How Confident are You quiz and discover how you can trust yourself. 

 

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Women's Special Fall Online Weekend Retreat

Friday 25 September - Sunday 27 September

Fall is a time for us to slow down, to ground ourselves and to nourish our bodies. This retreat is designed to help you stop and listen to what it is you need right now. It's a fun and restorative weekend with mindfulness exercises, morning yoga, an online cooking class with the fabulous Chef Bai, healthy recipes to try at home, meditations and group calls to connect you with other women.