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Love yourself more and be less hard on yourself

self-care self-love Oct 22, 2021

Self-love.

What is it? 

It's different things to different people. 

I think of it as having a high regard for your well-being and happiness. It’s about prioritizing your needs and what you want in life. 

Think about someone you love. 

Close your eyes and bring up a clear image of that person who’s very dear to you, someone you absolutely adore. 

What is it that you love about them? 

Is it their unique way of showing up in the world?   Is it their wit, their generosity, their deep caring for other people? 

Or is it that they're badass and they never give up? 

Take a moment to savor their uniqueness. 

Now. I have a question for you. 

Loving yourself as much as you love others

Do you love yourself as much as you do them? 

Yes? No? 

If you answered yes, what are the similar traits that you have in common with this person?  What you admire in others, you probably have some version of yourself like that. 

If your answer was "no, of course not." I don't love myself as I do them. 

What’s the reason?  The concept of loving yourself is, well a bit radical. 

Not many people talk about it or spend time thinking about it.

I know that when I was growing up, the thought would have never entered my mind.

And if I had said out loud "I really love myself," I would have been laughed at or told how selfish I was. 

The importance of self-love

Today we know that loving yourself is one of the most important things you can do for not only yourself but for others. 

Loving and caring for yourself helps us be healthier and happier. It reduces stress and resentment. Self-love improves our relationships and builds confidence. Because we say to our brains…”you’re worth it.”

Now...back to that person that you love so much. 

Do you criticize them or do you deny them what they want? 

Would you tell them that they're not good enough? 

Do you say to them, don't try to do that because you'll probably fail at it?

I doubt it. 

So what's the reason we say these things to ourselves?

What's the reason we’re so hard on ourselves and usually easier on those we love? 

What?

What did you say?

Say it a little louder, please. 

What?

Ahhh because, because…

I'm not as good as they are, they’re better than me... 

Well.

That is a bunch of baloney and I think we all know it. 

So let's do something about it. 

What if you treated yourself like you treat the person you love? 

What could happen? 

Ways that you can love yourself more

First of all, ditch beating yourself up... It won't help you and only makes you feel bad. 

Instead, show a little love to yourself by some of these things:

  • Give yourself permission to take a break, to have what you want, do what you want, and not worry about what others think. 
  • Believe in yourself, give to yourself, nurture yourself
  • Think about how you can put yourself first today.
  • Take care of your body. 
  • Choose to honor yourself. 
  • Choose to celebrate who you are and how you walk in the world...the good, the bad, and the ugly. 

Because you are the only one who travels your whole life with yourself.

Your turn

I challenge you to make of list of things you do now or want to do to love yourself. Then pick one of those things and do it. 

If you want to show yourself even more self-love, plan a retreat for yourself.

Go here and read about taking your own personal retreat: 

How to go on a personal retreat

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Women's Special Fall Online Weekend Retreat

Friday 25 September - Sunday 27 September

Fall is a time for us to slow down, to ground ourselves and to nourish our bodies. This retreat is designed to help you stop and listen to what it is you need right now. It's a fun and restorative weekend with mindfulness exercises, morning yoga, an online cooking class with the fabulous Chef Bai, healthy recipes to try at home, meditations and group calls to connect you with other women.