I don't remember how it started exactly.

I was living in Okinawa, Japan working on a Marine Corps base as a psychotherapist. Our work was demanding and stressful.  

Right away, I realized that if I was going to make it, I'd have to do something different than getting worked up over the frustrating and unnecessary hoops we had to deal with.

So every morning as I got in my car and drove away from my home, I started thinking of the things that WERE going right. I started a list of 10 things in my head I was grateful for. 

It became a ritual. I'd drive by the ocean on the way to work (which was enough to be grateful in itself) and say 10 things I was grateful for. By the time I drove through the security gate at the base, I was grounded and ready to go to work to help the Marines I was there to help. 

Later I started writing those 10 things in my journal every day, and since then I've discovered many things about keeping a gratitude journal since then. 

A gratitude journal can do s...

It might surprise you to hear that one of the best ways to cultivate a hopeful, optimistic outlook is to practice some radical self-compassion. 

Frequently people confuse self-compassion with self-indulgence or even selfishness. But being kind to yourself is just as important as being kind to others, if not more so. 

Self-Compassion Makes You More Optimistic 

Being kind to yourself means you can stop that vicious cycle of self-blame and recrimination. It prevents you from ruminating on past mistakes and builds your resilience and confidence so you can pick yourself up and get back on track. 

When you are kind and encouraging to yourself, your anxiety levels drop, your mood lifts, and you become more optimistic and hopeful about the future.

Cultivate Mindfulness To Be More Self-Compassionate

Perhaps the best way to start your self-compassion practice is to adopt a more mindful attitude to life. Mindfulness focuses on the acceptance of who you are, and where you are right now. With...

I was raised by a very strong mother and an even stronger grandmother. They did everything. My mother ran a business with my father, took care of him after he had a nervous breakdown, paid the bills, and parented the kids pretty much on her own. 

I don’t remember seeing her take a break except when she worked in our backyard, growing flowers or planting cuttings from someone else’s garden. She was ALWAYS busy. 

Her mother, my grandmother, was equally busy but she had a different style. 

As a farmer's wife, "MaMa,"(as we lovingly called her) milked the cow, churned butter, washed clothes for our family, prepared special meals for my grandfather, and always baked a cake on the weekend for Sunday "dinner" as well as cooking a huge spread for the whole family. 

In addition to each full day, she would drive over to her sister-in-law's house. Aunt Angie was bedridden with rheumatoid arthritis and MaMa would drive to her house to take her a meal, cut her hair, visit with her and cheer h...

When it comes to working on self-care, all of us have different aspects of ourselves that we aren’t fully aware of. It could be personality traits, feelings, or actions.

These blind spots can really hamper our self-care efforts. This is why it's so important to become fully aware of them. Let's look at some of the most common blind spots you may discover with making sure your self-care is in place. 

You avoid conflict

A lot of people hate conflict, but sometimes it's needed to resolve situations. If you tend to avoid conflict, it means you’ll often do or say things you don’t necessarily agree with. This is a common blind spot that can really derail your self-care efforts.

The trouble is, when you give in to others just to avoid conflict, it reduces your credibility. You’ll also find you are frequently miserable due to not standing firm in your own beliefs and values. So, if your blind spot is avoiding conflict, it’s important to address it. 

Not letting negative people go

Do yo...

If you’re struggling to make healthier changes in your life, it could be that you’re not convinced a change is needed. Many of us are also great at avoiding change. It tends to be something we dread, rather than look forward to. 

However, if you want to live your best life, it’s imperative you recognize when a change is needed. So, how exactly can you recognize that change is needed in your life? Below, you’ll discover some of the common signs to look out for.

You feel lost or stuck in life

Do you feel like you’re stuck in a rut and you’ve lost your purpose? This is a sure sign that a change is needed. Everyone has a purpose, but it isn’t always easy to identify it. Also, your purpose can change as you get older and go through life’s experiences. So, if you feel like your life isn’t your own anymore, it’s time to make a change. 

Your mood is consistently flat

Another sign change is needed is if you find your mood is constantly flat. It could be you don’t really enjoy anything an...

One of the most difficult challenges many people face with self-care is finding the time to fit it in. When you live a busy lifestyle, it can seem almost impossible to find extra time to look after yourself.

So, how can you balance practicing self-care with a busy lifestyle? Here, you’ll discover some great tips you can follow.

Schedule it in

A good tip you can follow to ensure you can fit self-care into your busy routine is to schedule it in. Think about it, you schedule in everything else, so why not self-care? When you set a time to focus on yourself, you are much more likely to stick to it. No matter how busy you think you are, there will always be time for self-care somewhere in your schedule.

Establish a morning routine

If you are struggling to find the best time of day to practice self-care, you might find it easier in the morning. If you’re a busy parent, you might disagree here but think about it. In the morning, you could get up just 30 minutes earlier, or 15 minutes i...

Even when you know how important self-care is to your wellbeing, it isn’t always easy to incorporate it into your daily routine. In fact, did you know many people fail when it comes to taking care of themselves?

Let’s look at why people generally fail when it comes to self-care and the main things holding them back.

Self-care is often perceived as selfish

One of the main reasons people fail to take care of themselves is because they feel it’s selfish. It could be that you feel guilty when you take time to focus on yourself. Or you may worry what other people think or that you are a terrible parent for not focusing solely on your children’s needs.

It is a total myth that self-care is selfish. In fact, it can help you to be a better parent, friend, spouse, and relative. The more you take care of yourself, the easier you’ll find it to take care of others. You’ll also show your children the importance of self-care. Teaching them to take care of their own needs is a crucial life skill...

Clearing your clutter is a great form of self-care because all of the things no longer serving you are draining your energy and affecting your health.

If you take tiny steps to let go of excess stuff, you can make space for things you do want in your life.  

If you’ve been procrastinating on a home decluttering project, chances are that the reason behind your hesitation is feeling overwhelmed or just not knowing where to start. Those things can trip anyone up on the road to organization. When you find yourself stuck in a pattern of avoidance, the best method to change that pattern is to start with small tasks. Even doing just one little thing is progress.

To help you along your way, consider one of these dozen tiny decluttering steps you can take today. 

Clear Just One Surface

Clear your kitchen table. If that’s too overwhelming, choose a segment of your countertop. Make it a surface you see daily, and be sure to keep it spotless. 

Empty a Shelf

Now that you have a surface c...

There are so many reasons why we don’t let go of our stuff. 

You know what I’m talking about…The things in our closets and drawers and our homes that don’t bring us joy, the things we don’t use, and the things that we’ve totally forgotten about. 

The THINGS that are clogging up and draining our energy. 

Here are just some of the lies we say to avoid clearing our clutter and letting go of it. 

1. I’ll sell it later and make some money
2. I paid so much for it, I can’t let it go
3. I might need it someday
4. I’ll start decluttering next weekend
5. That was a gift so I have to keep it (even though I don’t really like it). 
6. Clutter doesn’t affect me that much 

I’ll sell it later & make some money

We keep things aside to sell on sites like eBay, Craigslist, or Amazon Marketplace but then the stuff just sits around in our homes for weeks or months because of the time and effort required to list things for sale. And then we may even have to mail it to someone. It's all time-consuming and a ha...

I grew up in a home where if we discovered we had a guest coming to our house, it was a big deal. What was never really said out loud was that we couldn’t let them in the door until “the house was clean”.  We'd run around madly “cleaning” the house before a visit. 

Living in a cluttered home

Now I realize our house wasn’t actually dirty, it was just cluttered.

Our upstairs attic was filled with all the things that had been basically dumped there because no one seemed to know what to do with the stuff and we couldn't possibly throw any of it away. Because the unspoken rule was “we might need it someday.”

The thing I realize now is that no one talked about “it.” The clutter.  

Growing up with clutter

I grew up thinking everyone’s home was like this and that you just didn’t throw anything away. We had clutter everywhere and didn't think it was a problem. We just moved stuff around and hid it on the attic steps or in the attic. 

Even now, it’s an awkward thing to write about. It’s...